Fuad demands an apology
After being the first kicker selected in the NTL draft, a very well respected owner (Lord) called it "the worst pick in the history of TSB drafts." Fuad reported to training camp this morning and was made aware of Lord's comment and said the following: "How someone can say that is beyond me, it's a travesty that someone like that should even be able to control a team. I'm more than just my skillset, I'm more than some numbers on a computer screen somewhere. I transcend statistics, I'm clutch and there's no substitute for that. When the game is on the line, do you want it resting on the foot of a Scott Norwood, do u want it resting on the foot of a Dan Mowery or a Matt Munyon? NO! You want the game coming down to to ME making a kick. I've never missed a clutch kick in my life and I won't miss one for Berger. I demand a formal apology from Lord." When asked what would happen if Lord stuck to his statements, Fuad pointed toward a newspaper headline that indicated Lord had just won the WTF Championship, ripped it in half and said "wait till next year." Fuad then declined further comment.

I said no such thing!!! It was that youngster Eamon or perhaps Mr. Edisaurus Rex who made the statement. Or Kidpro. Or Mort. Or someone. I understand the intangible elements of the selection. After all, I was the one who drafted Dan Stryzinski as my punter in WTF, just because I had previously drafted Jason Staurovsky as my kicker. Staurovsky and Stryzinski. Yin and motherfuckin' Yang. I'll admit it isn't outside the realm of possibility, in the waning moments of a heated draft, that such a statement could have been blurted out. If I did make the statement, I do apologize. If I didn't, I demand a formal apology from Mr. Berger, and from Mr. Reveiz.

Fuck Fraud

After tracing his steps and contacting his sources, the reporter is changing his story, but only slightly. It was originally reported that Lord called this the worst pick in TSB draft history, but it has now been confirmed that Lord was merely part of a group of owners who were hating on the pick. Berger has rescinded his temporary apology to Lord. Berger has accpeted Lord's conditional apology, but Fuad remains hostile towards all parties involved. Fuad does not accept Lord's apology, and says he does not even want an apology from Eamon or Kid or anyone else who was involved. QB Eagles who reported 8 hours late for training camp was interviewed on the way in and had the following to say: "We're behind Fuad 100%. He's our team leader and whatever his decision, we back him. I'll take it upon myself to personally go after Lord, Eamon, Kid, and everyone else who felt it neccesary to publicly criticize our kicker." When asked what he meant by "going affter Eamon, Kid and Lord..." Eagles said, "In the WTF we just beat Kid a combined 77-28 the last 2 games, we handled Eamon 28-0 and it's gonna be worse for them this time around. Lord didn't have the misfortune of running into the Cowboys in the WTF, but rest assured we will make up for that in the NTL. Fuad and I are gonna be ready for Lord. Fuad has already told me he expects to kick 7 extra points vs the Bengals. I told him he better be prepared to go for #8 b/c running up the score will definitely be warranted"

When did Fuad decide he was such a baller? He needs a slice of humble pie. On a side note I believe Fuad is 0/1 on FG attempts in the playoffs, so Im not sure if one can be a clutch kicker with zero postseason FGs.

Fraud Reveiz

Art Monk has officially been in San Fran for too long! I tried to get him out of town as soon as possible bc of his open homophobia.. But with no trade offers coming in worth noting for days, and Art missing for a week, he was finally spotted and found face down, ass up in the middle of a trolley car leaving Barry Bonds Apt. in the "Gay Bay." Now that Monk is clearly out of the closet he passed a note along to the owner of the team asking for permission to perform Oral on FUAD in an attempt to calm his nerves down after the Racist remarks made about him in the papers.. Art is clearly being setup by the "man" w all of these false rumors going around that he is Gay, and that he is involved w Barry Bonds. ON the other hand there is evidence to prove Monk's preference would be a banana rather than a taco... There is a picture of his bare Black Booty, with what looks like a pair of san fran giants boxers w Barry Bonds autograph on it, around his waist w clearly cum stains on them on the cover of National INquirer, Sports Illustrated, and WTF weekly. Speaking on this evidence that has come up recently I, the San Fran 49ers owner stand BEHIND (not literally) Art Monk's sexual preference and will not bench the little chode, but will provide him w his own locker room and showers. Other owners should prepare to offer him the same during SF road games in an attempt to keep the WTF from turning into a full out Gay Parade w our players every Sunday instead of Football!

the love child of Fraud and Monk will draft somewhere in the 2nd round of NTL season 22